Ugh, so I guess the sun is out now and Ack! IT BURNS, but we’re still bringing you a weekly array of what we do anyway!  This month we have another stellar line up of funny people, some brand new local performers, very special out of town special guests (including COTA co-founder, Ross Parsons visiting from New York), the triumphant return of long dormant segment Show n’ Tell and brand new monthly segments including Almost Improv and Josh Joke (a joke courtesy of your friendly neighborhood bartender Joshua)!  Lastly, the theme for this month of Almost a Sketch and Almost Improv is Cartoon Theme Song Carnage so be sure to see one of those disasters happen!  Plus the same awesome drink and food specials as per usual and more prizes than you could ever want or need!  Don’t suffer through this gross pretty weather alone!  We’ll see you at the safe zone (aka The Capitol Club)!

May 2
Tyler Schnupp, Evan Morrison, Yogi Paliwal, Cameron Mazzuca, Monica Nevi, Travis Vogt, Almost a Sketch: Cartoon Theme Song Carnage: TMNT + Diary Wars w/ Cameron Mazzuca vs. Monica Nevi!

May 9
Milan Patel, Parker Postyeni, Jessica Strauss, Jason Goad, special guest Ross Parsons, Almost Improv: Cartoon Theme Song Carnage + Dork Wars: Most Badass Little Person: Peter Dinklage vs. Warwick Davis!

May 16
Douglas Gale, Brett Hamil, Ryan Casey, Nick Sahoyah, Sarah Skilling, Jennifer Burdette, Almost a Sketch: Cartoon Theme Song Carnage + Diary Wars w/ Douglas Gale vs. Brett Hamil!

May 23
Daniel O’Connell, Mike Coletta, Danielle Radford, Emmett Montgomery, special guest Daniel Isherwood, Almost Improv: Cartoon Theme Song Carnage + Dork Wars: Best Worst Comic Book Movie: Howard the Duck vs The Shadow w/ Danielle Radford vs. Emmett Montgomery!

May 30
Rosalie Gale, Travis Vogt, David Leon, Kevin Clarke, Anita Goodmann, Show n’ Tell w/ Sarah Skilling, special guest Wilfred Padua, Almost a Sketch: Cartoon Theme Song Carnage + Diary Wars!

In this week’s episode of Portland-based comedy web series, THE SPICY NEWS, COTA’s Elicia Sanchez attempts to make fun of Justin Bieber and 30 Seconds to Mars after eating a habanero pepper.  The heat is ON.  For more episodes of Spicy News, subscribe to The Spicy News Network on YouTube!

This month we bring you some BRAND NEW comedians, super special guests, bad re-enactments of worse movie trailers, more fun prizes, some epic Dork Wars debates and as always, the best tacos that cost one dollar in town!

April 4
Patrick Delmore, Nick Sahoyah, Xung Lam, Brett Hamil, Emmett Montgomery, Almost a Sketch: Movie Trailer Trash + Diary Wars!

April 11
Jessica Strauss, Sarah Skilling, Leah Mansfield, special guest Kate Willett, Almost a Sketch: Movie Trailer Trash + Dork Wars!

April 18
NO SHOW TONIGHT – COTA will be performing at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland, OR April 18 – 21! Get your tickets here: http://bridgetown2013.eventbrite.com/#

April 25
Zena Chew, David Leon, Ryan Casey, Nick Hart, some super secret special guests, Almost a Sketch: Movie Trailer Trash + Dork Wars!

Tickets are now on sale for the nationally beloved Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland, Oregon!  Founded in 2008, Bridgetown has become the premiere comedy fest of the Northwest with past acts including Patton Oswalt, Maria Bamford, Janeane Garofalo and Marc Maron.  This year, major names include Dana Gould, Reggie Watts, Kurt Braunohler, Emily Heller, Cameron Esposito and literally hundreds more!   The festival runs from April 18 – April 21.  You can buy tickets here.  As an added bonus, COTA‘s own Elicia Sanchez and Scott Losse will be performing at this year’s festival for the first time!  Get your tickets now!

The month of March brings more great comics, a bunch of super secret special guests, brand new Dork Wars and Diary Wars, plus the new monthly installment of ALMOST A SKETCH, “Crappy Commercial Programming” where COTA attempts to recreate some of our favorite worst commercials ever aired.  Yes, there will be a lot of wigs.  Don’t miss the fun and come on out!

March 7
Evan Morrison, Rick Taylor, Nick Sahoyah, Kristina McMillen, Jim Stewart Allen, Sarah Skilling, special guest Danny Felts, Almost a Sketch: Crappy Commercial Programming: Dream Phone + Diary Wars w/ Nick Sahoyah vs. Corbett Cummins!

March 14
Jessica Strauss, Sean Murphy, special guest Jeff Oliver, a super secret special guest, Almost a Sketch: Crappy Commercial Programming + Dork Wars!

March 21
Nam Huynh, Mike Coletta, special guests Daniel Isherwood and Morgan Picton, Almost a Sketch: Crappy Commercial Programming: Teddy Ruxpin + Diary Wars w/ Daniel Isherwood vs. Morgan Picton!

March 28
Billy Anderson, Cameron Mazzuca, Zena Chew, Yogi Paliwal, Monica Nevi, Jennifer Burdette, Danielle Radford, Almost a Sketch: Crappy Commercial Programming: Crossfire + Dork Wars!

It’s the February line-up for Level Up! and we’ve got so many extra special shows, brand new segments, more prizes, lots of unnecessary amounts of candy and secret guests for you to enjoy FOR FREE.

February 14, we’re having a bizarre V-Day extravaganza with special weird V-Day versions of Diary Wars, Show n’ Tell, Almost a Sketch and a brand new segment, Shame Wars! We promise it will be a Valentine to remember!  February 21, is a birthday blowout for COTA‘s own, Scott Losse with special segments and special guests you just may never see again!  Plus, as always, Happy Hour prices/specials for the first 30 minutes of the show, $2 beer specials, the infamous $1 tacos and for a limited time, throughout the month there may or may not be $1 Jello Shots!  You’ll just have to come and find out for yourself!

February 7
Brandon Ivey, Nick Sahoyah, Leah Mansfield, Jeremy Whitman, Show n’ Tell w/ Travis Vogt, Almost a Sketch: Really F*!$@ed Up Rom-Coms: My Demon Lover + Diary Wars w/ Leah Mansfield vs. Jeremy Whitman!

February 14 – Special VDAY Extravawhateva!
Jennifer Burdette, Kevin Clarke, Show n’ Tell w/ Sarah Skilling, Very extra special guests, Almost a Sketch: Really F*!$@ed Up Rom-Coms: My Date with an Angel, lots of candy + Ex Wars, Shame Wars and SO MANY PRIZES it’s stupid!

February 21 – Scott Losse’s Special Birthday Show!
Super secret line up of special guests + Special birthday segments of Almost a Sketch and Diary Wars!

February 28
Douglas Gale, Brett Hamil, special guests Daniel Isherwood and Morgan Picton, a performance by Jeff Mackin as ‘Trekkie Bob’, Almost a Sketch: Really F*!$@ed Up Rom-Coms: Splash + Dork Wars!

COTA presents LEVEL UP!, a FREE weekly comedy showcase EVERY THURSDAY night, 7:30 PM at The Capitol Club! Expect funny stuff, nerdery, possible life lessons, dork debates, embarrassing diary entries, live action show n’ tell, nearly decent sketches and consistent awkward moments provided by Seattle comedy’s finest! Plus, sometime secret guests and tons of PRIZES! Most importantly, Thursday is $1 taco and $2 Rainier/Tecate night! COMBO!! This will be the best dinner and not movie you’ve ever had!

In 2013, LEVEL UP! will be starting at a new time, 7:30 PM, which means not only will you get the same cheap booze and tacos, but you can also enjoy the last half hour of Happy Hour prices/specials for the first half of the show!!

January 3
Evan Morrison, Wilfred Padua, Travis Vogt, Derek Sheen, Almost a Sketch: The Thrill Can Kill + Dork Wars: Who is the hippest Indie “It Girl”: Zooey Deschanel vs. Winona Ryder w/ Evan Morrison vs. Wilfred Padua! Hosted by Scott Losse!

January 10
Sean Murphy, Tanner Hodgeson, Jamal Harrington, Leah Mansfield + Diary Wars! Hosted by Elicia Sanchez!

January 17
Brandon Ivey, Nick Sahoyah, Mike Coletta, Morgan Picton, Anita Goodman, special guest Whitney Streed, Almost a Sketch: The Thrill Can Kill + Dork Wars!

January 24
Zena Chew, Jennifer Burdette, Douglas Gale, Sarah Skilling, Kevin Clarke + Diary Wars w/ Jennifer Burdette vs. Kevin Clarke!

January 31
Almost a Sketch: The Thrill Can Kill, special guest Xander Deveaux, more performers TBA + Dork Wars!